Okay, I have settled down a bit and wanted to continue my discussion with you on the newsweek.com article, which you have a link to in the blog below. I am not going to review what I have said previously, trusting you can read the previous blog. I will just jump right into the subject matter. The Bible makes clear that in all we do, whether it is eating or drinking or getting married, we do all for the glory of God. We must teach our children, regardless if they are male or female, that as believers we must value holiness - this would obviously include modesty. On with the article:
At the actual ceremony, however, brides were nearly as reserved in the 1990s as they'd been in the 1950s. But then the numbers of women who got married in churches started to drop, and so did the strictures on what was appropriate to wear. (According to a survey by Condé Nast bridal media, only 46 percent of brides were married in a church or synagogue in 2006, down from 55 percent the year before.)… But now it's perfectly clear that white no longer symbolizes virginity. It's become a symbol of merely being a bride. SO ONCE VIRGINITY GOES OUT THE WINDOW, WHY WOULDN'T YOU SHOW MORE OF YOUR BREASTS OR HAVE A BACK CUT DOWN TO YOUR WAIST?"
Wow! What a statement - how much clearer can one be? I mean once there is no value on purity, once there is no expectation of holiness it shows in our dress. Once we remove the wedding from being about Christ, from being worship, and it becomes about us and we have no value of holiness - why wouldn’t I show my body to the whole world as a bride? I mean the man at the alter…he is just one of forty men who has groped me, one of five whom I have shacked up with, one of twenty whom I have given my heart to - and the same is true of him! So, what is the big deal if my grandparents and nephews see me in my wedding the way my soon to be husband will see me tonight? After all we are just headed back to our apartment where we got dressed together moments ago anyway! When we remove God from our standards, when we only have what the world calls sexy or beautiful, we shouldn’t be shocked when Madonna walks down the isle.
"When a girl left her parents' house to be married, she was making an enormous transition," Wallace says. "The wedding celebration was to help her negotiate the change. Now very often there is no functional difference between marriage and living together."
Do we really wonder why marriage is under attack? There is a tendency to blame the sinful homosexual agenda on the decline of marriage, but much of the attack on marriage happens in our churches! We have couples that get divorced and churches will not confront the couple nor help the couple by intervening in their lives. We have singles that are living together and the church remains silent…but then we must sign petitions when two men want to get married. Let me be clear, I am adamantly against homosexual marriages, but we are at best naïve and at worse sinfully ignorant if we do not notice the fact that we, as God’s people, have done as much damage to the sacred institution of marriage as any group in the world! When we use that day to make more out of the bride than we do out of our Savior, the problem sits at our door. I am reminded of what the Prophet Jeremiah said: Jer. 6:15 “Were they ashamed when they committed abomination? Nay, they were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush; therefore they shall fall among them that fall: at the time that I visit them they shall be cast down, saith the Lord.” We in the church, with what is worn in the average Sunday Service, what is worn by the average “Christian” woman and teen at the pool or beach… we have lost our “voice” when we try to have a discussion about modesty or about purity…we are as guilty as the world because we would rather be fashionable than holy! We have lost our ability to blush… We have lost our voice not because the world out shouts us, but because the world can’t distinguish us! Lord, give us godly ladies who will train their girls in Biblical feminity - teach us to value holiness above popularity!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
A WEDDING IS WORSHIP: Part I
When I saw this article http://www.newsweek.com/id/200495?gt1=43002 to say the least my heart was burdened. I will quote some from it throughout this blog but you really must read the full article – it is that important! While I was shocked and disappointed in reading it, I realized that this is the day that we live in. It is interesting that I saw this because as I look on my “to do list” this week, one of the things I have to do is review the wedding policy at Trinity. Needless to say, after reading this, there is no doubt we will have a group of godly ladies that will need to review the dresses that that will be worn at the weddings at Trinity. When two people are joined together in holy matrimony, it is more than just two people coming together - it a covenant that they are making not only to one another, but to our Lord and Savior. The purpose of marriage is to give a living illustration of Christ and His church - the Word tells us that we will be presented “white, spotless, and pure” on our wedding day. We will be clean because the grace of our Savior has made us clean. We are in a culture that there is nothing sacred, including purity, marriage and worship! Our culture tells us that it is not realistic to expect our teenagers and single adults to stay pure until marriage - but our culture also tells us that we should not expect marriage to last a lifetime, that we will live on credit cards, that our teens will rebel….. is this really the expectation we as people of God should have? One of the sure ways that we know we are believers is that there is a separation from the World - if anyone should be different it should be us. We should be different in the way we conduct our family, we should be different in the way we dress, in the way we deal with the opposite sex, in the way we discipline our children, in the way we do finances… basically everything about us should be different, because we are a new creation in Christ Jesus. Let me highlight a few of the quotes in this article:
Two decades ago, when young girls wondered how brides were supposed to look and behave, they'd most likely conclude—with some prompting from Cinderella—that on their big day they'd be a princess. They'd be blushing, virginal and wrapped from head to toe in tulle and lace.
Two decades ago? Now they do not conclude they will be “blushing, virginal….” This is not only a societal problem - this is a church problem and, this is a parental problem! There is no expectation of purity in our society any longer, but have we also lost this in our churches? Looking at many of our teens week in and week out, and at our youth camps… I would say an embarrassed “yes”.
A big-selling style is a sheer lace corset midriff," says Millie Martini Bratten, the editor in chief of Brides magazine. "It's clearly meant to look like you're seeing through someone's shirt." And today's wife-to-be is hiring photographers for what are called "boudoir shoots," where they pose Maxim magazine-style in lingerie or nothing at all and give the prints to their grooms—a trend that Bratten says began about three years ago. "IT'S THE ULTIMATE DISPLAY OF FREEDOM AND IMPOWERMENT," says Bee-Bee Kim, the founder of Weddingbee.com, a wedding-planning site that gets more than a million unique visitors a month.
I capitalized the quote above, because it is an outright lie. If anything displays the bondage of man in sin it is the entire idea of displaying our “freedom” by indecency! If anything, it shows the lust filled culture that surrounds us has actually permeated the most sacred institution of our society. I would submit to you that even if the wicked idea of “homosexual marriage” were not front and center, we as people of God have already allowed a profane attack on the institution of marriage. What kind of culture is it that encourages little girls to dream of looking like a harlot on their wedding day?
This is, after all, a generation that is comfortable with "sexting" and posting provocative pictures of themselves on Facebook and MySpace. And it's an age when respected actresses and role models pose seductively on the covers of the lad magazines. "In American society now, you see little girls being sexed up," says Chrys Ingraham, a sociologist and author of White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture, a critique of the wedding industry. "You can't disconnect that from the way the wedding industry is going. We have 13-year-olds getting makeovers and having oral sex."
Where can one start with this? We allow our thirteen year olds cell phones - but not just cell phones…most with cameras. Many parents never check their Facebook accounts, let alone who they are calling or what pictures are on their phone or their “profiles”. The most telling quote of the statement is in bold and underlined - who would sex up these 13 year old and even preteen little girls? The very same people who buy their clothes, who believe it is cute to look ungodly and who so desperately want their little girl to “fit in” that they are willing to sell her out to the world in order to win her some friends! Heaven forbid our children stand out, huh? They start in elementary school wanting the “fashions” and rather than explaining about modesty and purity, parents want them to fit in….we had little girls this week at VBS talking about their short shorts and bikinis – how it is “cool” to wear things that show your stomach! We allow them to dress in skirts too short, shorts WAY too short and tops cut too low – things that you (or some of you) would be embarrassed for them to wear to church – but you allow it other places with their friends….why? Let them dress that way in public and they may fit in, but you are teaching them a double standard that God expects them to behave one way on Sunday and you live like you want the rest of the week. Worst yet, many parents today don’t see anything wrong with the fashions…they’ll let them wear it even to church. Some of you hold their hands while they are getting belly button rings (who is seeing their bellies?) and help them pick out their formals that are cut open on the sides and middles…Why do we make these compromises in our teen’s lives??? Why is it so wrong to explain to them that the world is not always going to understand us or agree with us? (probably because in truth, we are scared of our children thinking we are uncool or old-fashioned…we want to be their friends instead of their parents. That’s why we allow them to talk back to us the way they do, to get away with disrespect and to have friends that we know are not good influences for them). The Word of God makes it crystal clear that truth, modesty, honesty, those are things that are beautiful… but like it has with most things, the Church has bought into the world’s toxic idea that the culture can dictate our fashion, our standards and even the way we “raise” our children.
I will continue this in our next blog. I have too much to say, along with being too frustrated, baffled and perplexed to continue. But for Heaven’s sake teach biblical modesty!
Two decades ago, when young girls wondered how brides were supposed to look and behave, they'd most likely conclude—with some prompting from Cinderella—that on their big day they'd be a princess. They'd be blushing, virginal and wrapped from head to toe in tulle and lace.
Two decades ago? Now they do not conclude they will be “blushing, virginal….” This is not only a societal problem - this is a church problem and, this is a parental problem! There is no expectation of purity in our society any longer, but have we also lost this in our churches? Looking at many of our teens week in and week out, and at our youth camps… I would say an embarrassed “yes”.
A big-selling style is a sheer lace corset midriff," says Millie Martini Bratten, the editor in chief of Brides magazine. "It's clearly meant to look like you're seeing through someone's shirt." And today's wife-to-be is hiring photographers for what are called "boudoir shoots," where they pose Maxim magazine-style in lingerie or nothing at all and give the prints to their grooms—a trend that Bratten says began about three years ago. "IT'S THE ULTIMATE DISPLAY OF FREEDOM AND IMPOWERMENT," says Bee-Bee Kim, the founder of Weddingbee.com, a wedding-planning site that gets more than a million unique visitors a month.
I capitalized the quote above, because it is an outright lie. If anything displays the bondage of man in sin it is the entire idea of displaying our “freedom” by indecency! If anything, it shows the lust filled culture that surrounds us has actually permeated the most sacred institution of our society. I would submit to you that even if the wicked idea of “homosexual marriage” were not front and center, we as people of God have already allowed a profane attack on the institution of marriage. What kind of culture is it that encourages little girls to dream of looking like a harlot on their wedding day?
This is, after all, a generation that is comfortable with "sexting" and posting provocative pictures of themselves on Facebook and MySpace. And it's an age when respected actresses and role models pose seductively on the covers of the lad magazines. "In American society now, you see little girls being sexed up," says Chrys Ingraham, a sociologist and author of White Weddings: Romancing Heterosexuality in Popular Culture, a critique of the wedding industry. "You can't disconnect that from the way the wedding industry is going. We have 13-year-olds getting makeovers and having oral sex."
Where can one start with this? We allow our thirteen year olds cell phones - but not just cell phones…most with cameras. Many parents never check their Facebook accounts, let alone who they are calling or what pictures are on their phone or their “profiles”. The most telling quote of the statement is in bold and underlined - who would sex up these 13 year old and even preteen little girls? The very same people who buy their clothes, who believe it is cute to look ungodly and who so desperately want their little girl to “fit in” that they are willing to sell her out to the world in order to win her some friends! Heaven forbid our children stand out, huh? They start in elementary school wanting the “fashions” and rather than explaining about modesty and purity, parents want them to fit in….we had little girls this week at VBS talking about their short shorts and bikinis – how it is “cool” to wear things that show your stomach! We allow them to dress in skirts too short, shorts WAY too short and tops cut too low – things that you (or some of you) would be embarrassed for them to wear to church – but you allow it other places with their friends….why? Let them dress that way in public and they may fit in, but you are teaching them a double standard that God expects them to behave one way on Sunday and you live like you want the rest of the week. Worst yet, many parents today don’t see anything wrong with the fashions…they’ll let them wear it even to church. Some of you hold their hands while they are getting belly button rings (who is seeing their bellies?) and help them pick out their formals that are cut open on the sides and middles…Why do we make these compromises in our teen’s lives??? Why is it so wrong to explain to them that the world is not always going to understand us or agree with us? (probably because in truth, we are scared of our children thinking we are uncool or old-fashioned…we want to be their friends instead of their parents. That’s why we allow them to talk back to us the way they do, to get away with disrespect and to have friends that we know are not good influences for them). The Word of God makes it crystal clear that truth, modesty, honesty, those are things that are beautiful… but like it has with most things, the Church has bought into the world’s toxic idea that the culture can dictate our fashion, our standards and even the way we “raise” our children.
I will continue this in our next blog. I have too much to say, along with being too frustrated, baffled and perplexed to continue. But for Heaven’s sake teach biblical modesty!
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