We have heard a
great deal about the number of students that graduate from high school
and leave the faith. I have written about this several times on this blog. Below describes the other
side of the issue. It points out a few of the common traits in students
who continue in the faith. I pray this serves as a challenge and
encouragement to you as you read this:
3 Common Traits of Youth Who Don't Leave the Church
Jon Nielson
Gospel Coalition
“What
do we do about our kids?” The group of parents sat together in my
office, wiping their eyes. I’m a high school pastor, but for once,
they weren’t talking about 16-year-olds drinking and partying. Each had
a story to tell about a “good Christian” child, raised in their home
and in our church, who had walked away from the faith during the college
years. These children had come through our
church’s youth program, gone on short-term mission trips, and served in
several different ministries during their teenage years. Now they
didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. And, somehow, these mothers’
ideas for our church to send college students
“care packages” during their freshman year to help them feel connected
to the church didn’t strike me as a solution with quite enough depth.
The daunting statistics about
churchgoing youth keep rolling in. Panic ensues. What are we doing wrong in our churches? In our youth ministries?
It’s
hard to sort through the various reports and find the real story. And
there is no one easy solution for bringing all of those “lost” kids back
into the church, other than continuing
to pray for them and speaking the gospel into their lives. However, we
can all look at the 20-somethings in our churches who are engaged
and involved in ministry. What is it that sets apart the kids who stay in the church? Here are just
a few observations I have made about such kids, with a few applications for those of us serving in youth ministry.
1. They are converted.
The
Apostle Paul, interestingly enough, doesn’t use phrases like “nominal
Christian” or “pretty good kid.” The Bible doesn’t seem to mess around
with platitudes like: “Yeah, it’s
a shame he did that, but he’s got a good heart.” When we listen to the
witness of Scripture, particularly on the topic of conversion, we find
that there is very little wiggle room. Listen to these words:
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.
The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Cor. 5:17) We youth pastors need to get back to understanding salvation as what it really is: a miracle that
comes from the glorious power of God through the working of the Holy Spirit.
We
need to stop talking about “good kids.” We need to stop being pleased
with attendance at youth group and fun retreats. We need to start
getting on our knees and praying that
the Holy Spirit will do miraculous saving work in the hearts of our
students as the Word of God speaks to them. In short, we need to get
back to a focus on conversion. How many of us are preaching to
“unconverted evangelicals”? Youth pastors, we need to preach,
teach, and talk—all the while praying fervently for the miraculous work
of regeneration to occur in the hearts and souls of our students by the
power of the Holy Spirit! When that happens—when the “old goes” and the
“new comes”—it will not be iffy. We will
not be dealing with a group of “nominal Christians.” We will be ready
to teach, disciple, and equip a generation of future church leaders—“new
creations”!—who are hungry to know and speak God’s Word. It is
converted students who go on to love Jesus and serve
the church.
2. They have been equipped, not entertained.
Recently,
we had “man day” with some of the guys in our youth group. We began
with an hour of basketball at the local park, moved to an intense game
of 16” (“Chicago Style”) softball,
and finished the afternoon by gorging ourselves on meaty pizzas and
2-liters of soda. I am not against fun (or gross, depending on your
opinion of the afternoon I just described) things in youth ministry. But
youth pastors especially need to keep repeating
the words of Ephesians 4:11-12
to themselves: “[Christ] gave...the teachers to equip the saints for
the work of the ministry, for building up the body of Christ.” Christ
gives us—teachers—to the church, not for entertainment, encouragement,
examples, or even
friendship primarily. He gives us to the church to “equip” the saints
to do gospel ministry in order that the church of Christ may be built
up.
If
I have not equipped the students in my ministry to share the gospel,
disciple a younger believer, and lead a Bible study, then I have not
fulfilled
my calling to them, no matter how good my sermons have been. We pray
for conversion; that is all we can do, for it is entirely a gracious
gift of God. But after conversion, it is our Christ-given duty to help
fan into flame a faith that serves, leads, teaches,
and grows. If our students leave high school without Bible-reading
habits, Bible-study skills, and strong examples of discipleship and
prayer, we have lost them. We have entertained, not equipped them...and
it may indeed be time to panic!
Forget
your youth programs for a second. Are we sending out from our
ministries the kind of students who will show up to college in a
different state, join a church, and begin doing
the work of gospel ministry there without ever being asked? Are we
equipping them to that end, or are we merely giving them a good time
while they’re with us? We don't need youth group junkies; we need to be
growing churchmen and churchwomen who are equipped
to teach, lead, and serve. Put your youth ministry strategies aside as
you look at that 16-year-old young man and ask: “How can I spend four
years with this kid, helping him become the best church deacon and
sixth-grade Sunday school class teacher he can be,
ten years down the road?”
3. Their parents preached the gospel to them.
As
a youth pastor, I can’t do all this. All this equipping that I’m
talking about is utterly beyond my limited capabilities. It is
impossible for me to bring conversion, of course,
but it is also impossible for me to have an equipping ministry that
sends out vibrant churchmen and churchwomen if my ministry is not being
reinforced tenfold in the students’ homes. The common thread that binds
together almost every ministry-minded 20-something
that I know is abundantly clear: a home where the gospel was not
peripheral but absolutely central. The 20-somethings who are serving,
leading, and driving the ministries at our church were kids whose
parents made them go to church. They are kids whose parents
punished them and held them accountable when they were rebellious. They
are kids whose parents read the Bible around the dinner table every
night. And they are kids whose parents were tough but who ultimately
operated from a framework of grace that held up
the cross of Jesus as the basis for peace with God and forgiveness
toward one another.
This
is not a formula! Kids from wonderful gospel-centered homes leave the
church; people from messed-up family backgrounds find eternal life in
Jesus and have beautiful marriages
and families. But it’s also not a crapshoot. In general, children who
are led in their faith during their growing-up years by parents who love
Jesus vibrantly, serve their church actively, and saturate their home
with the gospel completely, grow up to love
Jesus and the church. The words of Proverbs 22:6 do not constitute a
formula that is true 100 percent of the time, but they do provide us
with a principle that comes from the gracious plan of God, the God who
delights to see his gracious Word passed from generation
to generation: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he
is old he will not depart from it.”
Youth
pastors, pray with all your might for true conversion; that is God’s
work. Equip the saints for the work of the ministry; that is your work.
Parents, preach the gospel and
live the gospel for your children; our work depends on you.
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