I have never been one to shy away from adversity and, as I begin to write this I know that regardless of how I deal with this issue, there are some who will not take it well. I sincerely hope you believe the best and my heart comes through in regard to this subject. One of the great joys of being at Trinity Baptist Church is the number of babies that are in our nursery and the number of children we have. I know at times, when the Preacher goes long (ok…maybe often) many of our sweet workers may think we have too many babies - but they are at a church where they are loved and cared for, and I thank God for those who serve so faithfully. I also thank the Lord that we can always need more nursery workers, because there are a lot of children – that’s a great problem! I am not saying this to push a nursery sign up as I hope all our membership already feels a responsibility to care for our children at Trinity. I am writing because we live in a day where couples see children as a choice.
I would submit to you that the joy of having children is not a choice but calling for every Christian couple. Let me give you a very clear Biblical definition of marriage. Mal. 2:14-15 “Yet you say ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been witness between you and wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.”
No one would deny that God calls the husband and wife to be one - but in this passage he gives the primary reason, “godly offspring.” The natural question comes up like “What if you can’t have children?” The sad truth is that there are countless couples who want desperately to have children but for some reason they can’t. That is just another one of the many reasons to adopt! There are many couples who can’t have children, but there are many children who desperately need parents - and who better to fulfill that need, than children of God who have been adopted themselves, by our heavenly Father. I am sure somewhere, at some point - the reasoning of a couple that says they don’t want children sounds logical and maybe even moral…but, for the believer we should see that one of the highest purposes for which God created marriage, is for children. When you think about it, most of the reasons someone would give for not wanting children, would all consist of selfishness. Reasons range from:
Money, or the lack thereof…
One of the people in the marriage having had a bad home life…
Pace of life and/or the schedule we keep…
Goals they have set in their career…
There is an array of other reasons given but, at its core most every reason is based on “self”…It is what I want, plan and desire – it is old fashioned self-centeredness, self- interest or, it could be a lack of faith in God’s grace and presence in my life – to will and to work His good pleasure.
If we have children, we should see them and talk about them to younger couples as the gifts they are. I spoken with a young couple who shared with me that they have been fearful about having children because of the way their married friends hate life with children. Again, the reason for that kind of response is selfishness. They are frustrated at the way children have “inconvenienced” them, or they are so “self”-centered that they don’t want to do the hard work of disciplining their child and no one, including the parents, want to be with them as a result. Should we enjoy hearing “Daddy” or “Mommy” seventy times in two minutes? NO…and there are going to be times we fail miserably. Are there times that you just need a break from your kids? Only if you are normal! But, one of the primary purposes of marriage is to raise godly children and let me say I thank the Lord for the many Dads and Moms who are doing just that at Trinity! May God raise up even more through our young couples having children and those who are heeding the call to adopt! Praise the Lord!
