Last week I wrote a blog concerning the view of family
integrated ministry. I pointed out, as I have on multiple occasions to our fellowship
that the Church is crucial in the raising of a child. It is crucial that we do
not simply isolate our children into “peer only” groups but we cross over ages
and we fellowship together. There is nothing wrong with being with people that are
our age or like us, but that should not be the rule in our fellowship. At TBC,
we have times with all ages are worshipping together and we have other times when
we offer various groups. But regardless, we can all minister to the children
that God has placed in the body of TBC. I came across this blog that can give
us practical insight as to how this can be done.
It Takes a Church To Raise a Child
I have often heard parents of
college students lament that their children return home from school, drop off
the laundry, and immediately go out with friends without spending any time with
the family. I remember hearing that complaint and thinking, “My little girls
will never do that.”
After my daughter’s first semester
in college, she came home, dropped off her laundry, and immediately went to see
a friend. However, I wasn’t upset. I was thankful. The “friend” that my
daughter went to see is the wife of an elder. That my daughter would want to
spend time with this godly woman is a testimony to the church.
Parenting is not for the faint of
heart. It is also not something parents should attempt to do alone. Thankfully,
those in the church don’t have to. They are part of an extended family — the
family of God — that can play a vital role in the raising of children.
When a child is baptized, the
church remembers God’s covenant promise to bless believers and their children (Gen. 17:7), and it also renews its own commitment to caring for
the children. While raising children is primarily the responsibility of
parents, it is not exclusively so.
After all, God charged the entire
nation of Israel to teach the children (Deut. 6).
How can church members assist
parents in raising children to know and love the Lord? There are a number of
practical ways.
First, support the children’s
ministry in your church. This includes supporting the church budget, but also
serving in ministries to children.
When I was in third grade, my
family moved to Atlanta. We had been involved in our previous church since its
inception. It was the only church I had ever known. Suddenly, I found myself in
a new city, a new church, and a new Sunday school class. The Sunday school
teacher, Mr. Tinken, greeted me warmly and he helped me get to know the other
boys. Mr. Tinken did not have any sons my age, but he loved us and served us
faithfully by teaching us. His presence in that classroom week after week
fostered my love for Jesus.
Second, speak to the children, not
just to their parents. Ask them about their schools, sports, or hobbies. All of
these things that we consider “small talk” are ways to enter their world and
express love and concern. Through this small talk, relationships of trust
develop that can be vital as the child grows older and needs other people to
talk to besides just mom and dad.
Third, older adults can have a
profound impact on the children in the church family by befriending parents of
young children. Many of our young parents did not grow up in Christian homes.
They have no models for what it means to disciple their children or to parent
in a godly way. Other young parents are often far away from family. Many of
these long for mentors who will come alongside them, not merely as dispensers
of wisdom, but as encouragers and friends. These parents need someone to remind
them that, even when they fail, God is still at work caring for
their children.
This is particularly important for
single parents or for those who have a spouse who is not a Christian. Parenting
is not something a person can do alone. Yet, in our fallen world, many are
forced to do so. The church can mitigate the effects of broken families by
befriending both the parents and children in singleparent homes. By taking a
single mom to lunch, watching her kids while she gets a night out, or even
going to the children’s soccer games to cheer them on, church members can have
a profound impact on the children from single-parent homes.
My youngest daughter’s school has
an annual Grandparents’ Day. Most of the other children have grandmothers who
live in town and join in the celebration. However, one of my daughter’s
grandmothers died a few years ago. The other lives on the other side of the
country. So, a woman in the church volunteered to be her “grandmother.” For the
past three years, she has gone with her to Grandparents’ Day and then taken her
out for ice cream afterwards. This could have been an awkward, even painful
situation for my daughter. However, this dear woman demonstrated what it means
for the church to be the family of God by taking the time to love
my daughter.
Finally, church members can pray
for the children. Our children are part of a great spiritual battle — a battle
for their souls. We will not win this battle through better programs or better
parenting techniques. God must work in the hearts of our children. So, we must
pray for them, even as the apostle Paul prays for the church, that God may give
them “a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him” (Eph. 1:17).
It takes more than parents to raise
a child. It takes a family — a large family. Thank God that He has given us the
church to be the family of God and blessed us all with the privilege of
raising children.
