When Do You Leave?

As our church family has been walking through our new covenant, I was sharing with another pastor that I have been shocked at responses we have had. Overall, the responses have been positive but the ones that were not have been varied as to why.  Some are upset over what was not included in the covenant and think that our covenant should be more restrictive,  and others are upset over specific items that were included.  For me, both the positive and negative responses (and the dramatic differences between them) reinforced how seldom we as people of God really contemplate how we live and why we do what we do. Statements made ranged from “When I signed the covenant, it made me aware of how I need to really try to be in the Word of God more.” to “When I had to sign this I realized I haven’t been….”   When I look at our new covenant that our strategy team put together, I see a document filled with the Word of God  and expectations that are thoroughly biblical.  As we discussed it and preached through it, very few questions or comments came up about it and yet, when we had to stop to sign it, it became something we actually had to think twice about.

 

Some have asked why we "made so much" over our new covenant.   Simply - because it is the center piece in which we will strive to serve God together. This doesn’t mean we have all obtained each of these things, but it means our hearts' desire is to strive to do them.

 

Here is the link to our covenant, for those who are not members of our fellowship. http://trinitysouthaven.weebly.com/uploads/1/0/7/5/10753478/covenant__statement_of_doctrine_and_belief.pdf

During this time of preaching through church membership, I spent a great deal of time explaining why membership is biblical and what our responsibility is in membership. As a matter of fact, several of the blogs I have posted have even dealt with church membership. However, I don’t believe I have ever taken time to discuss why or when one should leave a church. We live in America and we love convenience, comfort and choices.  Generally, it is for one of these three (convenience, comfort or choice) reasons that people will look for another fellowship. Most genuinely believe they go to church primarily for themselves, rather than seeing the church as a body and the need for one another (although they might not admit that overtly).  I have heard of people leaving and even have had people leave over everything from music, to décor, to following family members who left. Pastors have aided in this in that we spend a great deal of time asking people to join our church by telling them about all our fellowship can offer, rather than giving them biblical instruction of the responsibilities of being a member of our fellowship. The importance of loving the difficult to love, being with people that are different than you, working biblically through differences and conflict, getting our hands dirty because we are sinners dealing with sinners...all of that is kept quiet as it isn't a great sales technique to get people to join your church in our American Mega Church, "meet my needs" culture.  Most want to know what kind of trips you will do for my student, who can keep me entertained with my style of music, who will keep the sermons to the right length and topic so that I can go and just “feel better about me.” So, when I came across this blog some time ago, I thought it would be fitting for me to post during this transition time for our church family. As I read it, I concluded that I know  very few who leave their fellowships with these as their motivating factors. 

http://www.gty.org/resources/questions/QA120/when-should-people-leave-their-church  (also seen below) 

 

Leaving a church is not something that should be done lightly. Too many people abandon churches for petty reasons. Disagreements over simple matters of preference are never a good reason to withdraw from a sound, Bible-believing church. Christians are commanded to respect, honor, and obey those whom God has placed in positions of leadership in the church (Heb. 13:7, 17). However, there are times when it becomes necessary to leave a church for the sake of one's own conscience, or out of a duty to obey God rather than men. Such circumstances would include:

If heresy on some fundamental truth is being taught from the pulpit (Gal. 1:7-9).

If the leaders of the church tolerate seriously errant doctrine from any who are given teaching authority in the fellowship (Rom. 16:17).

If the church is characterized by a wanton disregard for Scripture, such as a refusal to discipline members who are sinning blatantly (1 Cor. 5:1-7).

If unholy living is tolerated in the church (1 Cor. 5:9-11).

If the church is seriously out of step with the biblical pattern for the church (2 Thess. 3:6, 14).

If the church is marked by gross hypocrisy, giving lip service to biblical Christianity but refusing to acknowledge its true power (2 Tim. 3:5).

This is not to suggest that these are the only circumstances under which people are permitted to leave a church. There is certainly nothing wrong with moving one's membership just because another church offers better teaching or more opportunities for growth and service. But those who transfer their membership for such reasons ought to take extreme care not to sow discord or division in the church they are leaving. And such moves ought to be made sparingly. Membership in a church is a commitment that ought to be taken seriously.

He Knows My Need

When I read this post by Paul Tripp it spoke to me on so many levels. I think it is also very appropriate for where our church body is, as we are determining a new place to worship. I hope this helps you and speaks to your heart as it did mine. 

 http://paultripp.com/articles/posts/defining-your-needs

 

Defining Your Needs

I’ve been spending some time reflecting on Jesus’ teaching from Matthew 6. I’ve laid out 3 Treasure Principles; I’ve explained the Exclusivity of Treasure Pursuit; and I’ve discussed some applications of Earth-Bound Parenting. Today I want to talk about the word “need” found in verse 32.

“Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.” (Matthew 6:31-32, ESV, emphasis mine)

DEFINING NEED

I would argue that Jesus is teaching that we're not responsible for defining our own needs. Now, let's be honest - this doesn't make sense to us.

Think about it. Would you ever let a stranger go to the supermarket and purchase your groceries; let a relative select your outfit for the day; let a colleague plan your family vacation? Of course not: "They don't know what I need to eat or what I need to wear or what I need to enjoy my vacation."

Here's an important principle to remember: you and I struggle to give up control because we think no one else knows what we need more than we do.

Listening to the surrounding culture doesn’t help, either. Everywhere you turn you’ll find propaganda urging you to “chase after your dream” or “do what you want” or “don’t let anyone tell you no.” You're constantly bombarded with the ideology that no one knows you better than you know you.

Jesus counters this worldly ideology with heavenly theology: only God knows what you truly need.

EXISTENCE-BASED NEEDS

Now, I need to include a quick disclaimer. I'm not talking about the daily physical needs that are essential for human existence, like eating, drinking, sleeping, and adjusting your wardrobe to the climate so you don't overheat or freeze to death. Those are "existence-based" needs, and God has made you a steward over your body (Romans 12:1 and 1 Corinthians 6:15), so it's biblical that you take responsibility for them.

I'm talking about things - they can be physical, emotional and/or spiritual - that you tell yourself you "need" to be happy. This could be anything: increased income, a safer neighborhood, a more respectful spouse or child, a church that loves your ministry, and so on. You fill in the blank: "If only I had _______, my life would be better."

GOD KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED

Even though it will be a struggle, I want to encourage you to willingly and joyfully let go of the responsibility of defining your needs. Here are three reasons that should help:

1. God is Creator

You're not just handing over responsibility to your spouse or any old neighbor; the Creator of the universe is responsible for all your needs. Remember, God created us; we didn’t create us. It’s fundamental Sunday school theology, but it makes all the difference.

If you were an inventor and you came up with an innovative and complex piece of machinery, no one would know the project better than you. You could make it do things no one else could do, and you would know exactly what it needs to operate. After all, you built it from scratch.

The same is true with God; as Creator, he knows everything about your inner workings - physically, emotionally, and spiritually - so he knows exactly what you need. It just doesn’t make logical sense for a piece of creation to define its own needs over the Creator.

2. God is Omniscient

God not only knows everything about you, but he knows everything about everything. He knows what the weather will be, how the stock market will ebb and flow, and every other miniscule detail of the universe that will impact your life.

You can't predict the next five minutes. And not only that, you and I tend to live for the gratification of the here and now. How warped does that make our perspective? If the goal is to get immediate pleasure, we’re going to pass up on a better life tomorrow just to get instant (and lesser) pleasure today.

3. God is Omnipotent

God is all-powerful; you can barely control your hair in the morning! So, even if you were omniscient and knew what you needed, you wouldn't have the power to provide it for yourself.

By giving God the responsibility of defining your needs, you're placing your life in good hands. Not only does he know everything about you and everything about this world, but he's able to control it and provide exactly what you need in the exact moment when you need it.

HANDING OVER RESPONSIBILITY

Hopefully by this point you've noticed a theological mistake in my argument: since when is it human right to give anything over to God? Good observation: It was never, nor will it ever be, our responsibility to define our needs.

But that doesn't mean you and I will still try. We'll write up a shopping list of things we "need" to be happy, and when that list isn't met in a timely fashion, we'll be irritated, angry or depressed.

Jesus offers a much better way. He's encouraging us to give up control and let our soul be at peace, resting in the Heavenly Father.

God is creator; he knows how you operate. God is omniscient; he knows exactly what today and tomorrow hold. God is omnipotent; he can control every microbe of the universe. And on top of all those things, God is good. "He will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19) All you need is the evidence of the Cross to know that God will meet your needs, for his glory and your good.