Myths Worth Mentioning

Below you will find the link and the blog concerning Myths of Raising Kids. I find it alarming that so many parents, who are believers, buy into the pop child psychology of our day. I want to encourage you to read this two part blog, as well as the Scripture references. I hope it serves as an exhortation to see your children as the gift they are. 

http://www.gty.org/blog/B101022

                           

Myths—they intrigue, entertain, and sometimes even humor us. From health and history to sports and science, myths and misconceptions seem to find their way into every realm of human thought and activity—including parenting.

As Christians, we probably dismiss most of the parenting myths we encounter without a second thought, right? After all, we’re Christians, those who look to and depend upon God’s Word to determine our reality, not worldly platitudes or cultural traditions. If you’re among those who think only naïve and untaught Christians fall for unbiblical substitutes when it comes to parenting, maybe you’d better take a look at our list.

Here are ten of the most common myths confronting Christian parents these days. Mom and dad, as you endeavor to raise your children to the glory of God, take note of them:


Myth # 1: “Children must be the first priority in our family.”

Heard that one? According to this myth, the child-centered family is the successful family, so the more attention you give your children, the better they’ll turn out. Basically, you’ve got to prioritize your children over your spouse. No matter how pious they make it sound, it’s not pious at all. The Bible says your spouse is your priority, second only to God. Husbands, you understand this…God commands you to love you wife as your own body (Eph. 5:28). Why? Because you’re in a “one flesh” relationship with that woman (Gen. 2:24; Eph. 5:31). There is no such relationship between parent and child; it’s a different level of intimacy. To elevate the relationship with your children above the more intimate relationship you have with your spouse isn’t positive in any sense. It’s a subtle but dangerous myth that always weakens and sometimes wrecks a home. Beware.


Myth # 2: “I should rely mainly upon the church—particularly the children’s ministry, to teach the Bible to my children.”

Most of us would probably deny believing this myth, but how we live tells all. Evaluate your habits at home, parents. Where does the majority of your children’s spiritual instruction take place—church or home? Who provides that instruction—an Awana leader or you? We’re not belittling the role of your local church’s teaching ministries. We are pointing out that Sunday school and youth group should supplement your teaching at home, not replace it. Both the Old and New Testaments assign parents, not pastors, the responsibility of teaching their children (See Deut. 6:4-9; Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21).


Myth # 3: “The behavior of my children is a sure measure of successful parenting.”

That statement would cease to be a myth with a slight adjustment: Your response to the behavior of your children is a sure measure of successful parenting. See the difference? Your child’s behavior is mostly out of your control; your response is not. None of us, especially after the early years, can control our child’s behavior. But you can and must control your response to their behavior. God’s simple instruction to parents is found in Ephesians 6:4, “Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Your success as a parent relates to how faithfully you carry out that charge, not how well your children receive discipline and instruction.


Myth # 4: “Quality time with my children is more important than quantity time.”

Some parents use this myth to ease their guilt for spending too little time with their kids. That’s not the biblical model. When God instructed parents to impart His Law to their children, notice how much time is involved: “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up” (Deut. 6:6, 7). We’re mistaken to think we can somehow schedule those teachable moments into a few scattered, “quality” interactions between dinner and dessert. Faithfulness to the parenting task requires more time than that. As you make yourself available, you’ll begin to see how many unplanned opportunities arise out of those times of sitting, walking, lying down, and rising up.


Myth # 5: “My children belong to me.”

Behind this myth is the false notion that, “My children are my property, and it’s my right to raise them as seems best to me.” Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a gift from the Lord.” Even life itself is a gift, isn’t it? But it still belongs to God. Parenting is a stewardship, and we are stewards of all God’s gifts, including our children. We provide care, impart instruction, and teach them to fear God, and one day we’ll give an account to Him for how we carry out our charge. Children belong to God.


She is Not Yet What She is Going to Be!!!

In the past few weeks I have been alarmed and even frustrated with some blogs, facebook posts and youtube videos. It seems it is in vogue to talk about how ugly the bride of Christ is. It seems popular to bash the church - to highlight her flaws. Certainly, there are assemblies that meet today under the name of “church” that have no desire for real doctrine, no hunger for truth, no accountability or discipline; and yet, they claim to be a church - but that is not a real church according to Scripture. The truth is that the bride of Christ is made up of people who have been redeemed by Christ, that have a hunger and thirst for holiness, and they come together and connect for God’s glory, “warts and all.”  Part of the beauty of the Church is that even though we sit by selfish, older or younger people that may be nothing like us, we are unified because of the sacrifice of Christ.

I read a post a week (or so) ago that said something like this: “I have been in church most of my life and some of the meanest people sit in the pews. Yet I have been in bars and know some people that would give you the shirt off their back.” Let me state first, I would imagine in those same bars, restaurants or mall that there are some very kind people, there are probably some very giving people, but also in that same room you will find people who will gossip about you, lie about you and even steal from you. Some within the church would also be found to be extremely generous and “giving”.  But, the comparison this person is making is between the worse experience in the church and best experience from the bar (or anywhere else). Let me state, for the record that religious people can be extremely vile, but so can people at any restaurant. Should we expect more from the Church? Certainly!  We should expect more from the people of God and, if the church would function as it should with grace, love and biblical confrontation there would certainly be less of this. However, I go to church with people who are struggling with gossip, lust, anger, lying and myriad of other issues. God has placed us together to help us sharpen each other, to provoke one another to good works, and to aid in one another’s sanctification. It is really easy to take cheap shots at the bride of Christ and truthfully, the world and believers should expect her to look more like her Groom: however, if you kept telling me how you like me, but despise my wife I would conclude two things: (1) You don’t like me as much as you say or you wouldn’t hate my wife (2) One of the ways you can love me is by being kind to my wife. I believe Christ says the same thing general thing when he states things like: Jn. 13:5 “By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." Or 1st Jn. 4:20, “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.”  If I was always quick to point out to my wife the beauty of other women, only to point out her flaws, would that be love? 

All this to say, there should be a higher expectation among the people of God, but there also should be an understanding that we are sinners, saved by grace, being sanctified by Christ, His Word and His people. As a believer, if I attempt to make my case by pointing out the best of morality in man and the worst of the hypocritical church-goer, it leads to weak strawman arguments. Is the Church perfect? No. Can we glorify Christ as we strive to live holy under the authority of the Word and mutual accountability? Yes. She may not be all that pretty now, but on that wedding day she/we will presented spotless as we worship the King!