Planning for Our Worst....not bad advice!

Some time ago I saw this link  http://www.challies.com/christian-living/when-youre-at-your-best-plan-for-your-worst?utm_content=buffer71490&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer  and I believe it is timely for all of us. This advice should help all of us in every area of life, not just when dealing with the internet. 

 

When You're at Your Best, Plan for Your Worst

My children are growing up fast and, between you and me, they’re growing up a little bit faster than I had expected. My son is thirteen now, just a half school year away from being in high school. I sometimes find myself remembering when I was thirteen, and the kinds of things I awakened to and became interested in. Though I see now that I was only a kid, I was sure that I was all grown up. It’s disquieting at best. Meanwhile my oldest daughter is 11, going on 16. I love her to death, but she too is getting far too old for her own good. There are three kids in our home, but only one of them is still a child.

As my kids grow up, I find that I need to have important but uncomfortable discussions with them. They are unfortunate discussions, but the kind you’ve got to have in a world like ours. I suppose the only thing worse than having those discussions is not having them.

Some time ago we implemented a plan in our home to protect the kids from some of what lurks out there on the Internet. We removed Internet access from some devices, limited it on others, and applied filters that keep tabs on what we are doing online. It has been very smooth from a technological perspective, but a little less so on the interpersonal level.

Recently my son said, “Dad, you’re treating me like I’m addicted to pornography. But I haven’t ever seen it and don’t want to see it!” And he’s right, to some degree. If I’m not treating him like an addict, I am at least treating him like a pre-addict, someone who has the inclination, or who may well have it before long. In this way I think I understand him a little better than he understands himself. Of course our Internet plan is not designed only to protect the children from exposure to pornography, but that is still one of its major purposes.

But his exasperation and hurt feelings gave us opportunity to talk about one of the principles I have found helpful in my own life: When you are at your best, plan for when you are at your worst. I see this as an application of 1 Corinthians 10:12-13: “Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

Right there, in the middle of this discussion about sexual immorality, the power of temptation and the promise in temptation, Paul gives a call to humility: “Let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.” This is consistent with what he told the church in Rome: “For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned” (Romans 12:3).

There is a kind of weakness, a kind of vulnerability, that may come when we are convinced of our strength. It is when we arenot being tempted, it is when we are standing strong in the Lord’s grace, that we ought to consider the times we will be weak and tempted and eager to sin. We need to assume such times will come and we need to use the moments of strength to put measures in place that will protect us when we are weak. The wise nation builds its defenses in peace time, not once the enemy has invaded its borders; the wise homeowner buys insurance before the big catastrophe, not once the flood has already risen. The wise Christian fights sin even when sin seems distant and dormant.

I do not consider myself particularly prone to the temptation of pornography. I can sit at a computer early in the morning or late at night and not feel any pull to abuse the privilege. Not at this point. And yet, I explained to my son, I treat myself as one who is disposed to the temptation. I do this because I know my own proneness to sin and I do this because I have seen so many men shock themselves and their families by succumbing to the temptation. This is obviously Satan’s major point of attack on men today—old men and young men alike—and it would be folly to assume I’ll never face it. It would be folly not to prepare myself right now while I’m thinking straight. And it would be folly for my boy as well.

I have yet to meet the man who hasn’t been tempted at one time or another. And for this reason I have filtering software and accountability software and, even better, men who ask me good questions about my life. In the end, I explained, I am only holding my son to the standard I use for myself—the standard of a sinful man, wanting desperately to avoid a major fall, and all too aware that in those times I begin to lose my delight in God, I grow in my delight in sin. This, I hope, is the sober judgment the Lord calls us to.

What Does Facebook Have to do With Matthew 18

To answer the title of this post…absolutely nothing. We live in a day when social media allows kneejerk reactions and foolishness to run rampant and sadly, it is all too prominent among Christians. From Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi and all the areas across the USA, you have an amazing amount of “Christian” people doing anything but acting like a Christian. I have seen everything from “Pray for my husband, he is so cold and our marriage is a mess,” to “Pray for me I am leaving my church because of certain issues,” to “Praying for a friend because people are so mean.” The common thread is the Pharisaical language that screams out “please let me gossip.” This is the complete opposite of what Scripture commands –

·         that I am to guard my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ

·         I am to glorify God in what I do and say

·         I am to do everything without complaining and grumbling

·         I am to do all for the glory of God.

I know there was no social media when the Bible was written, but gossip is still gossip and the Word of God still reveals the human heart and exposes our sin. The lady or man who writes and complains about their spouse, the Pastor or members who air their grievances on social media would do well to consider that we are accountable to the Most High God for every word that we speak. In a book I read some time ago entitled Character Assassins,  the author dealt with gossip and wrote “they are experts of disguise when they see it would be to their advantage. They are able to present themselves as pious, devout and spiritual church members, who are doing their destructive work for the ‘good of the church’ to advance God’s Kingdom…these people live in denial as to their true nature….They firmly believe that what they are doing is the will of God.”  

 

It used to be we had to worry about our teens doing dumb things on Facebook that could forever damage them, now we have to worry about adults doing those things. We would do well to remember:

 Ecc. 5:2 “Do not be rash with your mouth and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; Therefore let your words be few.”

Social media allows us to be rash, it gives what I call “keyboard courage,” it stifles life on life, face to face work. Phone, e-mail, Facebook, twitter and so many of these similar things damage hearts and testimonies and, most importantly damage the name of our great God. It has never been easier to flaunt our depraved heart, to react, to bait someone to ask questions. We spend a great deal of time reminding our students that one bad decision can forever destroy them on social media, but in truth one reactionary “tweet,” “post,” or comment can destroy a testimony that one has spent years building. In such an “advanced” world we would do well to remember the old children’s song that encourages us to “be careful little lips what you say, because the Father up above is looking down in love, so be careful little lips what you say.” We may need to add a verse that says “Be careful little hands what you type, text or retweet.” It might not rhyme but it certainly is applicable for our day.