Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Insert Sarcasm When I Say "Great Parenting"

Will Smith reveals his 14-year-old son Jaden wants to be emancipated
Published May 14, 2013
The Sun
              
 Will Smith, left, and his son Jaden Smith arrive a news conference to promote their movie "After Earth" in Tokyo May 2, 2013. (Reuters) 


Will Smith was brought up by a military father who expected him to be seen and not heard.
But the upbringing that he and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith are giving their own children Jaden and Willow could hardly be more different.

They don’t punish them, instead letting them make their own decisions. And actor son Jaden has decided that for his 15th birthday in July he would like the gift of FREEDOM from his parents — and to be able to live in a home of his own.

Will, 44, revealed to The Sun: “He says, ‘Dad, I want to be emancipated.’ I know if we do this, he can be an emancipated minor, because he really wants to have his own place, like ooh.
“That’s the backlash. On the other side, if kids just want to have command of their lives, I understand.”

He and Jaden are about to be seen together in their second film, sci-fi tale After Earth.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2013/05/14/will-smith-reveals-his-14-year-old-son-jaden-wants-to-be-emancipated/#ixzz2UmYKJeKh


The article above tells us everything we need to know about how weak and warped we are as parents in our society. The article points out the assumption of Will Smith that the heart of a man, woman, boy or girl is not sinful; a complete denial of what the Word of God says about us.  
Prov. 22:15 “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of 
discipline will drive it far away.”   
Prov. 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old 
he will not turn from it.”    

The idea of “passive parenting,” or letting the child figure out what is “right to him,” leads to a fourteen year old asking for emancipation from his parents. Why? Because he sees no need of them. When parents are simply there to feed, clothe and provide for physical needs, but allowing the child to "do what seems right in his own eyes," children will see very little need for parents once they can fix their own sandwich and pick out their own clothes.  The age at which a child no longer needs a parent's help in making it through the day is much younger if the parent is not seen as a guide or authority.  At this child's age and with this family's financial resources, he can obtain daily provisions and services for himself and he sees himself as self-sufficient.  At fourteen, I would wonder if he is fully ready for the decisions and responsibility of being "on his own" with no parental intervention.   

There is always a way that seems right to man, but the end of that is destruction. I certainly have liked Will Smith in a variety of movies, but this article is one of the million reasons why as parents, we can not set the world up as our standard. I don’t want my boys doing what seems right to them, nor do I want to be a Dad who wants my children "seen and not heard." I believe God actually called Michele and I, along with every other Christian parent, to engage the hearts of our children. I must correct behavior, but the goal is not to force a certain behavior with positive and negative stimuli. Behavioral reinforcement may work with children for a while - as it can work with dogs and even cats (no matter how dumb cats are), but we are to be doing so much more than simply training behavior, we are guiding a heart.   If we never use the Word, we never really get the to the root of the matter and that is always the fact that we are sinful people with sinful hearts keeping the truth of God in the forefront of our children's lives. May we never seek to emulate the world’s philosophy in raising the children God has given us. They are not ours, they are His.


Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Happy 19th Anniversary!

Each year at this time I share that I try not make my blog a “home movie” presentation. I usually try not to use this blog just for my personal sharing (unless there is some application for it), because most people don't really enjoy “home movies” of other families. The one exception I make to that is during the week of our wedding anniversary: So let me just state to my precious wife what she means to me.

Michele,

As I look at the picture above I am still amazed that you said “yes”. I am so glad the Lord never allowed us to see what was in store for us, from health issues to tough times in the ministry because I fear that if He would have allowed us to see what was in store, you may have chosen someone with a little less craziness. But through our 19 years, we have grown up, I look much older, and you have grown more gracious and beautiful to me. You have influenced our boys from babies to now being young men by honoring our Lord first, and me secondly with your kindness and grace that surpasses my dreams. When I asked for your hand in marriage I was amazed that someone as beautiful as you would be willing to spend your life with someone like me. I know the Bible is clear that beauty fades, but yours seems to grow more radiant with time. If our city had gates as  mentioned in Proverbs 31, I would be known at them because of you. You have never preached a sermon, but you have exuded patience and grace by loving the worse sinner I know, me. You have seen me at my best and worst and you have loved me through both. Every year, I intentionally refuse to read what I wrote to you the year before so I will not get any “ideas” and what I write to you will be new and fresh to me, but the truth is I am sure I have repeated myself numerous times when talking about what I love about you, because so many of them have remained consistent. Your faithfulness and consistency is so much a part of your beauty. Our boys have a Dad who loves them greatly and strives to lead them, however, they have a Mom who exemplifies the character and grace of a woman whom they should search for as a wife. I can sincerely pray that our boys meet someone with the same qualities as their mom. 

I know that in the past some blogs have been longer, probably more orderly and maybe even more eloquent. But over the last 19 years you have nursed my body and soul back to health. You have spoken truth to me, you have listened to me complain, resign , rejoice and laugh sometimes all in the same hour. But you have remained steady and faithful. When I think about all the crazy things I did as a rebellious teenager, and then as a young man who just never really showed a lot of stability, it makes so much sense to me that God, in all of His grace, gave me you. God has and still uses you in my life to give wisdom, grace and stability.

Happy 19th—I am so blessed. I love you.