Worthy Resolutions

On December 31 at 6 pm I saw a “tweet” someone sent out to their Pastor that read: “Pastor help! I only have 6 hours to run a marathon, lose 20 pounds and pray more.” As I laughed and read it to my wife, I also thought to myself: “At least he remembered what his resolutions were.  Goals are good and I can’t think of a better time to set them than at the first of the year; however, they should be goals that matter - they should be goals that include not only “losing 20 pounds” but they should include goals that impact the Kingdom. I have shared before that one of the things Michele and I try to do is discuss our giving not just in the beginning of the year, but throughout the year. We know that giving can be something we simply do rather than an area we focus on growing in. Make a goal/resolution that impacts your children and spouse and challenges them to grow - make a goal that impacts your sanctification. There is nothing wrong with goals that impact your physical health and by all means do this… but in your goal setting go back and at least examine if any of them work toward the sanctification of you and your family. Below are just a few ideas to help:

• Write Your Goals Down: I don’t mean in the back of some notebook you look at once every 6 months. We have wonderful resources today - use your outlook, calendar, smart phone and choose different periods of time to be reminded of these goals. One of my goals in 2011 was to journal more. I used a website I mentioned before on this blog to help me.   http://ohlife.com/  it sends me an e-mail asking me how my day was and all I have to do is e-mail the site back a short or long journal entry. I didn’t return the e-mail as often as I should but I did better this year than ever before!

• Have Primary Goals & Secondary Goals:  John Acuff wrote a blog on this and called the secondary goals “cousin goals.” He calls them this because cousins are seldom like your brothers or sisters - they are people you like and want around but you seldom have them over except on holidays (sorry for all the cousins I just offended).  But, in short you want to have primary goals that you see as things you “must do.” You make plans put them on your calendar; you put these in places that will remind you what you should be doing.  The “cousin goals” are things that you would like to do but they can happen after the primary or as a result as the primary goal. For instance, if one of your goals is to read more this year and another is to have a more consistent family worship time this year, accomplish both by going through a book part as of your family worship. Or if you want to run a marathon (Primary) secondary would be to lose 20 pounds. Some of the weight loss will come as a result of the running.

• Set Accountability: Tell your spouse or friend what some of your goals are and ask them to mention them to you from time to time.  Often in midst of accomplishing goals…life happens. If I have someone asking me about them and holding me accountable, I tend follow through better. You can set a plan in place for accountability; for instance, if you want to read through the Bible this year there are wonderful Bible reading plans on the internet and even in apps for your phone that can help you.

• Think About The "Why": If you think about the reasons you have set this goal, and the benefits and/or blessing that will come from it as a result, it will serve as motivation. For instance, if you want to read more just because you don’t read enough, chances are not very good for you to accomplish this. But, if you want to read more in the subject areas that you are struggling in personally and spiritually, then you have more meaningful reason/motivation.

• Place Steps in Front of You: If your goal is to run a marathon, don’t go outside and start by running 20 miles hoping you can get the other 6 by the end of the year. Set a goal for a 5 or 10K by March. Then maybe a ½ Marathon by August (if it’s not too hot). If your goal is to read more, think through how many books and put on your outlook as a reminder in February that you should have finished your first __(fill in the number) books.

• Set Realistic Goals: If you are 200 pounds overweight, you may not want to set as a goal that you will climb Mt. Everest by November. If you struggle with reading you may not want to commit to reading 200 books this year. But you may want to commit to reading a book every month or every two months.

I think one of the most important things we can do as believers is to set goals that glorify God and then set up ways to follow through. I pray that 2012 will be a year that the Lord works in our lives like never before!

Happy New Year!

I want to begin this year by sharing a blog you have likely missed over the holidays, by Bro. Jeff Summers. I have had the honor of serving with Bro. Jeff Summers for the last 15+ years and love him and his sweet family. This two-part blog he wrote would be a great thing to for you to use in your family worship time to begin this year.  Below is a copy of the first of his two part blog, to let you get a taste of what it is all about (the second part is linked at the bottom). 

Also, beginning this year, I will probably post a new blog weekly rather than two blogs each week. The goal of this blog, first and foremost, is to help those in our flock at Trinity, but also to help other believers by providing either resources or food for thought.  Thank you so much for following this blog during 2011 and for all the kind comments, facebook posts and e-mails. You can also follow me on twitter at Chad_everson.

Hope this blog blesses you and gives you a spring board to begin a great discussion with your children.

Part 1 below or here http://trinity4families.wordpress.com/2011/12/22/teenage-resolutions-for-mom-and-dad-part-1/

 

As we are on the precipice of a new year, its a good time to reevaluate our priorities, renew and strengthen the things that remain, and resolve(d)…in the past tense. In other words, our minds are made up. Its decided. Its not something we intend to do, but it is a settled mindset trusting in the strength of the Lord to supply the power and grace as we live out those resolves. This is crucial as it pertains to parenting…especially parenting teenagers.

John Piper wrote “Teenage Resolutions: For Mom and Dad” back in 1993 dealing with a teenager’s resolve for Mom and Dad. As I read it, I thought “Wow! This would be great to read to my three teenage children, because they NEED this!” And then I got to thinking, but what about me as a Dad. Instead of handing down this wise “edict” for them to apply, I began to evaluate my own resolve as a parent. What should our teenage children expect from us, as parents? Not just parents, but parents that claim the Name of Jesus as Lord. 

So! I will add my own resolves [in brackets] to parallel John Piper’s. Not that his is lacking, but I need to do so as a way of making sure I parent as the Lord desires. This is a bit of a work in progress, so I would love to hear your comments. What would you say as a parental resolve to your children?

My plan is to sit down with our family and use this as a tool to discuss our commitment to one another, and ultimately to our Lord Jesus, who calls our family to live in faith in Him and His Word.

Due to the length, I will break this up over two blogs; one this week and one next. I’d love to hear your feedback on these resolves.

Resolved: I will obey your instructions and do what I know you expect of me, even when it is not mentioned. I will not force you into repeated reminders, which I sometimes call nagging.

[Resolved: I will make my instructions clear, and will refrain from impatient promptings when not obeyed immediately, and will not nag or repeat myself. I will deal with the issues of your heart, not simply behaviors.]

Resolved: I will not grumble or complain when I do my chores, but remember what a great thing it is to have a family and a home and clothes and food and running water and electric light and central heating in a world where millions of teenagers have none of these.

[Resolved: I will not grumble or complain when completing parenting responsibilities. I will express my gratitude to you remembering what a wonderful gift you are from the Lord.]

Resolved: When I think your demands are unfair, I will move to do them first, and after showing an obedient attitude, I will ask if we can talk. Then I will explain my side and try to understand yours.

[Resolved: I will patiently listen to your appeals with a desire for understanding, and will correct my demand if wrong.]

Resolved: I will not stonewall you and give you the silent treatment, which I dislike when my friends do it to me. If I am depressed and want to be left alone, I will say, “I’m sorry, I don’t feel like talking right now. Can we talk later? I’m not mad; I just need to be alone.”

[Resolved: I will respect your feelings and give you the necessary time that you need. I will not attempt to lecture or pressure you, but will be available to you to listen, guide, and pray with you.]

Resolved: When I do something wrong and let you down, I will apologize sincerely with words that you can hear. Something like: “Mom, I’m sorry, I didn’t pick up the pile of clothes.”

[Resolved: I will forgive you and give you the grace that God gives me when I fail. I will also apologize sincerely with words that you can hear when I fail as a parent.]

Resolved: I will call you by affectionate family titles, like “mommy” or “daddy”, or “mom” or “dad”. And I won’t let other kids pressure me into calling you nothing, or calling you something disrespectful as though true affection were embarrassing or childish.

[Resolved: I will express affection and treat you in ways that will not embarrass you in front of your friends. I will speak and act in ways that show your worth and respect in front of your friends. I will treat you as a young man or woman growing into adulthood.]

Resolved: I will say thank you again and again for the ordinary things you do for me. I will not take them for granted as though you were my slave.

[Resolved: I will say thank you again and again for the ordinary things you do for me and our family. I will not take them for granted as though you were my slave.]

Resolved: I will talk about my feelings. Both the positive ones (like happiness, pity, excitement, sympathy, etc.) and the negative ones (like anger, fear, grief, loneliness, discouragement, etc.). I will remember that unshared feelings lead to estrangement and coldness and even more loneliness and discouragement.

[Resolved: I will make our home atmosphere one where you feel free to talk about your feelings, both positive and negative. I will not minimize your feelings. I will take them seriously and help you work through those feelings biblically.]

Part 2 here:  http://trinity4families.wordpress.com/2011/12/27/teenage-resolution-for-mom-and-dad-part-2/